I’m sorry i’m a coward dear,
you know i never changed any of my passwords or usernames in hopes you would look at my stuff, i know you do because you couldn’t help it with jimmy and i remember how furious you were when he changed his shit. well i just want you to know i’m done being angry. I know it took awhile but i’m done. If you ever find this i just want you to know that i am a coward and you need something and someone completely different. we are different, but i still can never replace 2 years. I do miss your touch and your warmth but i will never get that back. you invade my dreams constantly and it makes me happy that i havent forgotten your face and the sound of your voice. theres a few pictures and videos that i glance at when i’m alone to make sure i never lose you. I guess i miss the memory of you. I constantly go back to the days when we first fell in love and wish times were still as simple as they were. I remember feeling so safe sleeping next to you for the first time even though i was scared to lean close to you. That day at skawars was my favorite. The months after and that summer were the days i will never get back. i can still feel that horrendous knot in my stomach every time i thought about leaving you and going to college. I loved you so much but it sucked because i knew you could nevertrust me. its hard to say that i would have never cheated even if i knew it were true but either way our relationship had been fucked from the start and thats my point here. i wish you had never invaded my privacy and let me delete all of those horrible thoughts and maybe just maybe we could have lasted longer. May 23rd 2014 went by and while i was explaining to my girlfriend that i graduated high school the day after all i could think of that entire day was, damn we were so close, i remember that day when you asked me what are we and i was so scared but so happy and the next day i was so happy to be able to hold your hand the day we conquered childhood and crossed that threshhold into adulthood. those moments, no matter what i will always hold so close to my heart. i really do miss you. maybe one day we can talk again, but its going to have to be a few years because i already know its going to be the same type of situation with your exboyfriend. maybe you still love me maybe you dont its okay. I have to get this out. I fucking love you, i will always love you, i will always want to take care of you. god forbid you were in the hospital, i’d be the first one there and the last to leave your side. there are things in this world that will never change and loving you is one of them.
drake & josh
season 1: drake helps josh w/ a crush
season 4: drake & josh accidentally sell an orangutan to a man who eats orangutans